So i got this email today...

[crashzero]

Men Are Just Happier People

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character

Graying hair adds attraction.

Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades..

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier. Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

[carkey]

thats kinda funny/cute


although i do get jealous about this one sometimes: The world is your urinal
like when i really have to go but there is no bathroom anywhere near or a long line and other such times

-carla

[[::april / 03::]]

yeah... and how they can write messages on any wall they want.


guys have it so easy...

but they die younger typically... (which can be bad and good depending on your cup of tea)

ergh!

[[::april / 03::]]

...and by younger i mean...

woman = 102 years old*

man = 60*


...that sort of thing.







*these are not accurate age representations, i know.

[Dead Poetic]

I think men die about 7 years earlier than women on average.

Sometimes I wouldn't mind being a man, but women are so much more interesting!

[twistchi36]

haha, pretty funny, but i felt i should add a little masculine opinion to it.

Here we go:

Men Are Just Happier People (not when they are around their wives)

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put. (um i guess no one's ever met a feminist)

The garage is all yours. (the rest of the house? all hers!)

Wedding plans take care of themselves. (because you don't get a say in any of them!)

Chocolate is just another snack. (that your wife spends way too much money on and makes her more unattractive by the hour)

You can be President. (unless you are catholic, jewish, a minority, not rich)

You can never be pregnant. (yep. sure wasn't my brother's problem when he listened to his gf say "i know my cycle" and now is living with her and giving her foot massages while she awaits the 9th month)

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. (trust me, they don't)

The world is your urinal. (maybe i know a lot of dirty girls, but the ones i do will pee anywhere when they gotta go)

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. (i guess we don't take shits)

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. (i was a helper with a plumber for 5 years and i still get confused, righty tighty, lefty loosey)

Same work, more pay. (i'll give this one to you)

Wrinkles add character (i guess that's why paul mccartney's x made him get plastic surgery)

Graying hair adds attraction. (until they fall out)

Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100. (and women love spending every dime on it)

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. (of course when ever u want a free drink or some attention all you have to do is show these guys off a little, and god knows how many women use this to their advantage)

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. (true)

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. (that you chose to buy, that guys don't care a bout. plus every girl i know wear ughs, which look to be the most comfortable shoes i've ever seen)

One mood all the time. (not when ur in a relationship)

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. (see above)

You know stuff about tanks. (what?!)

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. (true)

You can open all your own jars. (and you get to open all of hers too! fun fun)

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. (and totally torn apart for the slightest act of thoughtlessness.)

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. (aka us not causing as much drama)

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. (even less baby, even less.)

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. (check out my closet)

You almost never have strap problems in public. (i guess you've never had ur dick pop out of ur pee hole, or your balls get in a weird spot where u accidentally sit on them when u go to sit down, owch!)

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. (hahah)

Everything on your face stays its original color. (huh?)

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. (um mullet?)

You only have to shave your face and neck. (pubes...maybe ass?)

You can play with toys all your life. (girls own toys too, they're called men and vibrators)

Your belly usually hides your big hips. (and our penis eventually, i can't wait!)

One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. (and five pockets full of crap)

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. (true)

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. (teeth)

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. (not if she doesn't like mustache rides)

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. (unless i'm getting 25 gifts, i'm not buying 25 gifts)

No wonder men are happier. Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

[crashzero]

hahaha

that was great

[carkey]

hahah i liked your comments, come of them made me laugh out loud in real life

-carla

[esedler8785]

twistchi36 said:

You can be President. (unless you are catholic, jewish, a minority, not rich)

The world is your urinal. (maybe i know a lot of dirty girls, but the ones i do will pee anywhere when they gotta go)

You only have to shave your face and neck. (pubes...maybe ass?)

1) Damnit! There goes my chance (I'm a Jew...even better a non-religous one! Joe Lieberman still our best shot and I'm not sure what his base is anymore..)

2) I've seen girls do way worse in public..way worse

3) If your a guy and you shave your ass....I think that's pretty gay. Pubes on the other hand...if you don't have fun with that and look for a crazy foreign chick or somethin.

[twistchi36]

shaving your ass does help to prevent those annoying dingle berries though.

oh and good point, go to europe girls don't shave their pits in a lot of places and sometimes not even their legs.

friday i went to do my taxes and the lady working the counter had a full blown goatee. thought i had to go to the circus to see that one.

[carkey]

supersudz99 said:

1) Damnit! There goes my chance (I'm a Jew...even better a non-religous one! Joe Lieberman still our best shot and I'm not sure what his base is anymore..)

2) I've seen girls do way worse in public..way worse

3) If your a guy and you shave your ass....I think that's pretty gay. Pubes on the other hand...if you don't have fun with that and look for a crazy foreign chick or somethin.

i didnt know you were a jew


and a very hairy ass isnt attractive, but...i dont think a prickly one would be either

-carla

[twistchi36]

oh yea, and i think bloomberg has a chance too.

[esedler8785]

Im a non-practicing Jew..I believe in God..but some of the other stuff seems beyond me ...like Moses and such. I never got to the bah-mitzah either.

Bloomberg may have a shot but if any third party wants to ever have a legitimate shot at gaining power in this country the winner take all system would need to be replaced. Things aren't like they used to be..the last time any third party candidate made that huge of a dent was 1912 with Teddy Roosevelt running on the Bull Moose ticket because he got ticked off at Taft and the part of the Republican base that didn't like Teddy and sided with Taft.

Amazing that it's probably taken about 100 years to see another candidate actually get nominated by the party whose loudest members of the base detest.

Times they are a changin..at least I hope so.

[twistchi36]

well he doesn't have to run as a 3rd party, he met with obama recently, maybe he'll run as vp and then eventually as president. he's only been a republican for like 7 years and that's only in name, his politics are all basically democrat. also ross perot got a good chunk of the vote in 92'

[esedler8785]

didnt win a state tho...

bloombers all over the place...who knows what he is..the meeting was a publicity stunt..bloomberg knows how to play the media but there was nothing there.

I say obama goes with a female vp nominee..possibly the governor of kansas (yes, she is a dem..)

McCain will go with Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty..he's only 46 or something.